The Writing Writer and The Telling Truth.....

happiness + self-disappointment.....
overwhelming joy + ultimate disgust with one's self......
a beautiful and honest young lady + a deceptive and lying young man....

....the first things stated in each comparison are all amazing beyond anything i've ever known....the second in each are all buzzkills. Although these bad things suck pretty awfully the good can always cancel out the bad and mold it into something great. I Lie....alot. I can't stand it. Especially lying to the one's i love most. I don't want the option to lie anymore. I make mistakes and i try to lie and hide them. talking with shauna last night was something i've needed for a while now. but more than she realizes.....she makes me wanna be a better me....(or actually the me i really am without my deception)....I made a mistake this weekend and lied to her about it and felt guilty all yesterday long. when i finally told her...she forgave me and told me that i'm too hard on my self....i felt sooooo very relieved. She inspires me to do better. So i told my mom about what i had done. (Shauna, i did this to show you, myself, and everyone else that i am sincere in my quest to do better and to stop lying.)....mom was really upset with me. I don't know what's gonna happen yet. but it'll be okay cause it's better to feel confident in honesty than to hold on to a thread of lies for safety. Lies cannot serve as a lifeline. I learn this lesson more and more each day.

Soooo the happiness i possess now provides soo much clarity and I love it soooo much. I'm just amazed that this is really happening. and more so that she actually told me. She's such a strong person. (sorry for being vague friends.)


A wise person once made a decision to stop worrying, and follow their own heart instead of being skeptical of the future and the thoughts of others. I do believe the wise person shall find more happiness than they've had in a while...just for listening to their own mind and heart.

Life is inspirational but it's also a rollercoaster.... and boy, does the river run wild,... but in the end we can all say that things are miraculously miraculous.